Ever been so down in the dumps and you just need something to laugh at? We've all been there and we have all reached for the funny, yet romantic movie to tell us that everything is fun and good in movie-land. We all know that everything that happens in those movies is slim to none in real life. So I have to suggest that next time you reach for a more realistic movie: the bad horror film.
These are the movies that make you say "There must have been a one-man staff; who could possibly want to work on this?"
I have seen my fair share of bad movies, Spring Break: Shark Attack, Autumn, Wrong Turn, Wrong Turn 2: Dead End, Star Quest: The Odyssey , just to name a few. Over the years I have noticed that many bad movies have a sign, the colon. It signifies all that is bad, and yet somehow hilariously outrageous.
I guess I always wanted to make a post about this but with the soon to be in theaters Piranha 3D I came upon this article. Even though I have never seen any of the movies on this list I had a good feeling they weren't lying.
The other day I finally got to see the critically acclaimed Spring Break: Shark Attack. I promise you, this is the most amazing movie I have ever seen. Yes, I have just seen Inception and the mind blowing special effects could not compare to the art and skill it took to windsurf into a shark's mouth.
I love zombie movies, and SBSA gave me that. There is nothing better than seeing a bunch of oblivious college students trying to jump onto a floating stage off the shore and crawl out of the water like bloodied zombies. Groaning included.
It had a plot to, go figure. The overacting was spectacular. There was Danielle, the traditional "Damsel in Distress" who was forbidden to go to spring break and unsure if she is having fun at all. Then there is J.T. the "good-looking," overly tan, popular guy that is set out to "get the girl." More like get the date-rape drugs in the girl. But fear not! There is a good guy, a local "nice guy" who carries her back to her room when she is all drugged up.
If you were worried about the fate of J.T., don't worry, a shark eats him after a girl is climbing on top of him to save herself on the stage. Well, she gets eaten, too, but he got what he deserved. The most thrilling part of this entire movie is when the good guy is on a boat with Damsel and her brother [who is mysteriously there researching sharks]. They put a cage off the back of the boat filled with bloody fish and guts and the good guy calls out "HEY SHARKS." He continues to cat call the sharks for about three minutes, inviting them to lunch, etc. and it all becomes scarily awkward for the viewer.
I should also mention that there are no shark attacks until maybe 45-60 minutes in the film. At one point I changed the channel to avoid the freaky trailers for a new exorcism movie [do they really need another?] and almost forgot to change it back. I thought, "Oh no! What happened to Danielle?!"
I won't spoil the ending because this movie is just pure genius. I would seriously consider seeing Piranha 3D but the only person who would really appreciate it with me is in another state. Oh well.
Just remember this whenever you feel down, it could be making you laugh even if the director didn't want it to.
XDara
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