I guess it's one of those things that I should be excited about, and I am, but sometimes I just don't know what to think about it.
The word "college" does not encompass this process, an actual college can be very small, smaller than 2,000 people even. That's smaller than my school, I think. Still, it's small. A "university" is a collection of colleges that involve different majors and many more people. A state college is a school that receives funds from the state and the cost of one of these is generally less. A private college, or university, is one that makes all of its money independent to the state, which usually means that it costs more money so they can pump cash from parents.
I have found that many state colleges are nearly the same; they have all of the same majors and do not stand out in the least bit.
We've been told to "apply early" and to get into the process early on and once we get there, when we know what's going on, we find out that we had no clue what was happening.
I recently applied to a college because I am going to be visiting it soon and if I applied early I wouldn't have to pay a fee. Big mistake on my part. Websites for colleges make it seem so easy. "Apply Now!" and counselors understate the process. As soon as I applied I received an email that said,
"Thank you for your application to ______. We are pleased that you are considering ______ and look forward to working with you during the admission process.
Because you applied online, we may or may not have received all the documentation needed to review your file. A complete file includes the admission application, official high school transcript, SAT and/or ACT scores, and class rank, if applicable. Although not required, an essay and letters of recommendation are suggested. The Secondary School Report is also very helpful when reviewing your file. You should print the form and give it to your high school counselor or advisor for completion. And, please make every effort to complete your file within the next three weeks."
Great, I thought. I'll just email my counselor, they made it seem easy. Well turns out that I can't get any of these forms sent until September, why? Because no one is in school until September! So why, oh why, did I do this to myself? It's because I finally think I know what's going on.
I think maybe knowing what's going on this early in the process is not the best thing for me. I find myself talking to people about college and I'm excited. Then I get home and tell my mom about my new finds college wise and then I find a con about the college, go on a mass search through the College Board and then get extremely discouraged. But I can't stop! I can't just stop looking up colleges, summer is the best time to look at colleges, or that's what they say.
If I stopped now I would lose track of what I really want to do. In a way I'm glad that I'm crossing colleges off my list but with every new college that has something that I want I find a reason to dislike it.
Today I found a college from a suggestion I was given and I became really excited about a major it offered; I didn't mind that it was a short distance from my home because I have been looking for major over any other factor such as location, cost [I mean that would certainly be a factor later on], or name. When I mentioned the distance to my mom I got the idea that A] she thought that because of the closeness it was a commuter college and that I would not receive boarding or B] because it was close she would rather I stay home and commute to the college.
This "commuting" is not ideal. I don't dislike my home life, I love my parents and brothers but when people say "picture yourself in your dorm, what do you see?" I really don't see myself sitting in my bedroom trying to write an essay while my brothers complain to my parents, yelling down the hallway.
I was given the advice from a local state school graduate to commute until Junior year, in which she suggested to get an apartment. As a social person I said I was worried about not knowing anyone on campus, which she said would not be possible. Then I said that I was worried that I would never get anything done. [Thinking about it now, I almost know that is true. I love television and being at home it would be as if nothing changes and I would slack off and watch TV instead of doing my work]. She told me that at the college she attended no one was ever in the library and if I commuted I would be more likely to be in the library. [Which I think is silly, because I think that I might be more inclined to avoid the library and socialize because I will see people less frequently to begin with. Also, I think that if I commuted that I would have less free time on campus to go to the library]. But she says that my hours would be different from my family members and it wouldn't be so much of a problem.
I am not so sure. I am completely unsure about the entire thing. I see my graduated friends and wonder how they decided on a college at all.
I feel that going to college is like the change of seasons, it has to happen. But commuting is when it turns to summer and it is insanely hot and what do you have? An air conditioner that is broken and keeps the room at the same temperature. So you are sitting in college, but not really because it's just like you're home and you never left, all that's new is the broken air conditioner. [This may not make much sense but what I'm trying to say is that you're in the same place you were the year before but you feel different and you have a ton of work that never really existed before [that's the AC]].
On top of all of this I have to go GP and I can honestly say that I do not want to write an article about a signing of a paper that opened a national park. It's so boring. Would I rather read about 1950s cowboys and write an essay or write an essay about a park I know nothing about? What do you think?
I know this must be the same thing being said from every high school senior but I just have to say it. I hope this gets easier. I really do.
XDara
This may look artistic, but I assure you, it is not. I have to admit this looks a lot cooler on the computer but in real life it looks weird.
